It doesn't matter what he did, forgive him...

I have to say one thing I hate the most is when people don't appreciate what a special gift they have in a father. They say that he was a jerk because he divorced their mom and got remarried, well so what, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce and he's just like a billion other people who simply fell out of love. Dont hold anything against your father. Love him and appreciate him and forgive him. He is only human and deserves your respect and admiration even if you have to search hard to find something to admire. You need to have a father, you need that relationship (especially if youre a male). You screw up too and you would not want to lose contact with your kids if it was you in the situation.

My dad passed away almost a year ago and sometimes the hurt is so bad it feels like I'll be crying forever uncontrollably. All i want is one of the weekly phone calls i used to get from him telling me how proud he is of me and that he misses me.

I dont really know who im talking to but if this is you then you know you need to patch things up with him or at least do your best. Dont wait until its too late.

A crap morning in disguise

I woke up this morning with the best of spirits. I was well rested and ready to take the day on. I went and checked the weather and it was to be 13 degrees and sunny so i threw on my new light blazer and grabbed my ipod and sunglasses and headed off to school over an hour early (nshurr if youre reading this im sure you got a pretty good laugh) but i had to be there early to get a project done. so anyway i went outside and rocked out to some emery while i waited for the bus. i got to the station and the subway came shortly after. This day was going pretty smoothly.

BUT...

As i was sitting on the subway i realized i forgotton one crutial thing. My portfolio, the whole reason for going to school early or even at all so i jumped off the subway and hung my head low as i started the not so short trip back to my apartment. so much for my early day. So i got to my spartment and by that time the rain had started (stupid weather man had screwed me again). I ran inside and grabbed my portfolio and as i opened my front door i watched as my bus drove away. So here i am just on time for school and enough time to get ticked off and blog about it and go to class. I still have yet to see the sun, but hey at least theres alot of lightning, i guess i could wear my sunglasses for that.

Why the night?

When I was living in apartment 109 I noticed a pattern. Almost all studying was done in the night time. (there were a few exceptions, trev would normally study in the day [he's the older wiser one]) but the rest of the guys would study pretty late. I never understood how stressful school was until i started classes myself in january and i find myself up at all hours of the night finishing an assignment or a project. and i laughed at myself tonight when i came back to my room and laid out my chinese red bull drink, a handful of starburst, some chocolate candies and a drink of cranberry juice all to assist me in staying awake. but why dont i do this work during the day? i guess because in the day time there is too many, more interesting, things to do. Too many people to converse with or shows to watch or things to eat but at night is when it hits you that you have alot of 'ish due in a day and havent started. well here i am my mind is asleep but my eyes wont even blink. im friggin hyped right up.

Dead Poetic

For awhile I was off the screamo type music but i could never get it out of my heart so im back in pretty serious. Ive rekindled my love affair with underoath, emery and dead poetic.